I am so fat, when I take a shower, my feet don't get wet. I'm so fat, when I back up, my pager goes off. Yesterday, I jumped in the air and got stuck. I fell in love, and broke it. When I haul ass, I have to make two trips. My cereal bowl has its own lifeguard. My belly button has an echo. You get the picture.
So what? Surely I lost the $5,000 bet, right? I did. But for those of you who have not read every damn post (and you should, there's some good stuff in there), the bet has been rolled (no pun intended) into an ongoing competition that the fat people in my family have. We each kick in $50. Then we need to lose 20lbs by a given date or forfeit $250. The one that loses the most over 20lbs wins the pot. The dates are usually about three months apart.
So I should be like 220 or something by now, right? Not necessarily. Bet #1, I weighed in at around 287. At the end of the bet, I was 261, and I won by a three or four pound margin. I blogged about it and there was much rejoicing (by me). The next weigh in, I was actually 10lbs up. A week and a half away, I hadn't lost any weight, and went on a bender, gaining 10lbs. The next weigh in? This Sunday. I still have a few more pounds to go, but I might just make it. I have to be 250 or sacrifice $250, and anything over that will probably take it.
So again, today no food. Yesterday, I broke down and ate a 3/4 oz bag of baked cheese doodles. That's three quarters of an ounce. Can you believe they make bags that small? They do, and I believe they are sadists, possibly comedians. Other than that it was honey and lemon water (about a liter).